Well my fabulous readers, like many of you, I have an ex. This ex at the time was the love of my life, he was everything I needed, wanted and loved, and he was all mine. I never wanted anyone else and due to his obsessive traits, I left all of my friends and ignored my family, which meant I had no one else. (Other than my amazing best friend Vicky, who never left my side). However great this seemed to me, I was trapped in an abusive relationship, and due to my love goggles I never saw it, and if I did? I forgave him. I won't get into the details, but it sucked. Majorly. Don't they all? Well he ended it, when I needed him most. Oh the control he had... My world melted around me. I couldn't breathe and felt so lost.
Awful right? Well, in my eyes it was the most amazing thing that could of happened to me. I escaped, and now I am myself again, I have friends, I have a job and my own place. I'm on the top of the world. I go weeks without him crossing my mind, and when he does I just laugh at how lucky I am to have left. Though it would seem, as soon as it has been a few weeks without his puny face crossing my mind he pops up. He can't contact me as I changed everything, and blocked him from every site I could. He doesn't know where I am, what i'm doing or who i'm with. However, he does have my gay best friend's number (Who by the way is the most amazing guy I have met, I mean him and his fella practically pee sparkles they are so fabulous) who he contacts whenever he feels like it about such pathetic things it makes us cry of laughter.
The first thing he popped up with was that apparently I owed him £20. He told my gay best friend that it was for a pair of shoes, which by the way he bought me as a gift. Well, my GBF obviously called me up and asked. Living in supported housing I had not a penny to my name to silence his pestering with, and it really stressed me out. I didn't know what I would do and as it was just after the break up I couldn't cope with the thought of him. It stressed me out no end, but my fabulous GBF calmly paid my ex the money and told me to think nothing more of it. Thankfully it silenced him, and we prayed that it would be the last time that he re-appeared.
Our prayers weren't answered. About a month later he popped back up with another request. The day I had walked out, I was wearing his hat. Oh yes. He wanted his hat back. This thing was made of a bit of netting, and you could pick them up for about £5 from the local factory shop, but of course this was bang out of order for him and he demanded his hat back. Of course I was gutted as that hat looked damn amazing on me, but to silence his demands I sent it through the post. Of course it didn't get there did it? He banged on for so long about the fact that his hat never made it through to him, and accused me of lying and not sending it all. My support worker stuck the postage on for me for goodness sake! I wasn't paying for it to get to him! My GBF once more silenced him, and told him that I had sent it.
In the mean time of all of this, he was going around my home town and talking rubbish about me. Thankfully I was set up elsewhere by then, but I was having people ask me such awful questions of events that had apparently happened. Coolly I brushed them off and came to the conclusion that if they don't believe me? Fuck em! My true allies would stick by me. Of course he moved on quickly, and he had a new girlfriend on his arm by the end of the month while I was still nervous of letting myself get close to someone again. That has happily passed now, but of course all of the information got back to me. I am genuinely happy for him, everyone deserves someone to make them happy and I wish them well. Though of course I had to check whether I could kick her arse before I said that to the informers (and I can).
Well a job, a flat and some dates later I have been living life to the full. Being me and socializing. Meeting new people and having that option of whether to stay or walk. It's exhilarating. I just love going to a new place where no one knows me and introducing myself as a completely different persona. Try it. It's so interesting to see how people change around you. Walking into a bar as a cool successful Rachel Star, a journalist with high standards, in comparison to walking in as Lucy Jones, a successful cheerleader with daddy issues. I just love it.
So sitting in front of my laptop I had a cheeky google of my blog, and typed in "itsachannthing". You can imagine my face as a big picture of him appeared on Images. Don't ask me why, but it just does. I'm trying to get rid of it, but for any of you that google before I manage it's disposal, yes he is wearing the infamous hat. I sighed, and returned to my blog. That's when I got a call from my amazing GBF. The first words that escaped his mouth were "Jacqui, is there something you want to tell me?". My mind searched for something to answer with but to no avail. He then let me know of the most funniest occurrence so far. He had called him up, and told my GBF that I was pregnant. With his child. Like seriously? Who is that insane? Well of course I burst into a fit of giggles and so did my GBF. It was ridiculous. I asked how my dimwitted ex had come to that conclusion and I was told that he had received a Cow and Gate leaflet addressed to me. A leaflet...Seriously. On further thought through my laughter, I remembered that we had applied together online on Cow and Gate so he could have a free cow teddy. So HE could have one. Bless his cotton socks. He seriously thought I was pregnant, and in his blind panic he decided to tell everyone he had ever met that he had knocked his ex up. So now my name is under so much slander in that town i'm afraid it won't be able to take the weight. Of both the lies and my imaginary pregnancy stomach. Though I couldn't care less! I like to sit and smile at the thought of everyone thinking what happened to innocent country girl from Ashley? That someone might sit there and tell their friend that they heard of this girl... Well it makes me laugh.
The reason why I have told you all this? Well for one it's entertaining for me but mainly it's this. If you have broke up with someone on bad terms, the best thing for you both is a clean break. I don't care who's fault it was that you split or what happened, there is no point dragging each other down when you aren't together anymore. Luckily my GBF doesn't mind too much that he is in the middle but of course he would prefer not to be, but imagine if you put a close friend in the middle who didn't have such a high tolerance? They would snap. If they owe you money? Forget it. If they have something of yours that you won't die from not having? Leave it. If you receive a leaflet and fear she may be pregnant? Well...Don't be an idiot. A clean break is the best thing, it only makes things harder when there isn't one. Oh, and if you are stuck with an ex who won't leave you be? Well, just know. You will come out of the other side of it ten times better, and who knows? Maybe some entertaining things to laugh about later like me. You start to realize that although they made out that they were a million times better than you, they are the ones who can't let it go, and lets face it. How sad is that? It seems stressful at the beginning, but once your life is where you want it to be, you'll be so happy that it won't matter! Contrary to how you will feel, life does not end when you break up. It just opens the door to a bigger one.
So ex's? Drop that phone and get on with your life; and those dealing with their ex's? Choose a fake persona and get out of there! Live life, and forget the troubles that one person brings. It truly isn't worth stressing over! At least I have a new persona to add to my list. Dianne, the girl pregnant with her erratic ex's baby. Hmm I don't think this will be as fun as the others but who knows? I could just carry off being a yummy mummy!
Happy Readings!
Chann
P.s. Don't forget to email me or comment any responses, problems or ideas you have!
jacqui.brough94@googlemail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment