Anti Love Letter

Oh the joys, my enter key has stopped working again. Don't you just love it when life notices the one thing that annoys you the most and uses it against you? So yes. That's right. No paragraphs. Instead I will be doing random lines... Sorry. _________Well as you can tell by the title, the anti love letter has become something rather significant in my life recently. Which ...you know. Sucks. How else can I put it? You know the thrill of recieving a text, an email, a facebook message (seriously, what happened to pen and paper?) off the person you love the most? How your heart beats fast and your stomach flips? Well imagine opening the message and instead of opening it and seeing lovely notes of emotion, you see words of the friend zone, the we can still be friends? Yeah. It sucks. Now of course I always feel bad for the person opening it and feeling their heart being renched out, but seriously. Do you know how hard it is to write them? Trying to think of the nicest way to cut some poor person's heart out of their chest? It's so difficult, especially when you are writing it to someone you genuinley care for, and think of as an amazing friend. Well it turns out, tonight I had to write one, and it was crap. It was so very crap. You know for a blogger, sending a message like this should be easy right? Well, no. It's not. So I thought, to make up for my rubbish message, I would do what I do best and blog my anti love letter to the world, in hope that he forgives me. __________ A little while ago, whilst I was living with my friend, I was dared to join a dating site after taking the piss out of him numerous times for his account. I mean seriously, the girls he was convincing himself were pretty? Don't even get me started, let's just say I spent many a night crippled in laughter at his "matches". Well I took it as a blogging oppurtunity and decided to write a post about whether dating sites were truly as crap as I thought they were. The piece was never actually written because of one guy. Let's call him Dyson. Don't get me wrong I still think dating sites are crap, but how am I supposed to write a piece about them when I had made an awesome friend on there? Me and Dyson chatted for quite a while, and he became a solid reader of my blog, which is why I am hoping he will see this. Fingers crossed. Well after talking for a long time, I met up with him. We went for a meal, and went to bowling. He was an utter gentleman and payed for it all. We laughed all night and had an amazing time. _______ After that night, we continued to meet up and have a giggle doing whatever we could think of whether that be cinema trips, treasure hunting, going to the seaside and laughing at funny names of boats. We became close as hell, and I looked forward to seeing him every week. My best friend. Look, all of you lads out there wincing at the thought of the friend zone, shut up! I guess what i'm trying to tell you guys is that every girl deserves at least one decent guy in her life and he is mine. He may not be the one for me, but he is the most perfect best friend I could ask for. ____On paper he sounded the perfect guy for me, but then one day while I sat there giggling at the little paper flag I rescued from the burger I first ate when I met him it hit me. He is so perfect, he really deserves someone who can appreciate that properly. Not messed up litle me. A few days after that I met up with a friend and the worst, yet the best thing happened. I let my walls down. Yes, I know I sound like a right bitch. This amazing guy has waited around for such a long time only for me to keep my walls up. Then I meet a friend and they fell to the ground like the clothes on a street walker. It was unprovoked, and unexpected and shocked me to my core, but instead of talking to Dyson about it. Instead of just being honest. I was quiet. To the point that I ignored him for a little while. I was scared of losing him, my amazing friend. Pure selfishness led me to keep the information to myself and I constantly searched my mind for a good enough excuse but. Lying is not me. I couldn't do it, and after 4 days of silence I buckled. I sent him that absolutely rubbish facebook message and told him.____ We had a conversation later that night, and of course Dyson was an absolute gentleman and he swore to be my friend but I feel my apologies aren't enough. So here goes. Dyson, you have been a really amazing friend of mine through some of my toughest times and stood by me, you have laughed with me in the good times and cried in the saddest, and I could never replace you. I know i've hurt you and trust me I don't feel great about myself. Allowing you to wait and then refusing; but you are an a amazing person and I couldn't ask for a better friend than you. I know you hoped for more, and hey! At one point I thought maybe I could see it too, but let's be honest. The ranting, loud, messed up blogger, with the gentleman? That never happens. Although to be quite honest I can see myself chasing you down the road with my walking stick while you make a quick exit with you zimmerframe in years to come! I just hope you'll give me a chance to show you I may not be the best crush, but I can be a great friend, and when we are old in wheelchairs and you throw my spare teeth out of the window and pretend you don't know where they are? I'll forgive you...Just for this._____ So guys! All the guys in the "Friend Zone", I never understood truly what it was like to stick you all in there, and I know some of you see it like us saying your puppy is dead...but you can still play with the dead body! But it's not. What's so wrong with being friends these days? Let's be honest, friends can last forever. ______So Dyson, and my lovely readers. I hope you read my anti love letter and forgive me. This post may not have been a letter full of roses and heart shaped chocolates, but it doesn't mean any less. My anti Love Letter. For my best friend. _______Chann________ On a more sacrier note, there is spider the size of my palm in my room and I hope to god he forgives me quick because I am not entering my room until it's gone!