To my lovely best friend, and to any commitmaphobes!

So today my darling readers, I would like to talk to you about something my best friend and I have been talking about for the past week. True love.

A subject that will constantly plague your mind, whether you are alone and waiting for it to arrive or if you are with someone and hoping that they are it. So here is a question. How do you know when you have it?

When you first meet someone, don't the old wives tell you that you will know if they are the one or not? Well what about those that fall in love over a long period of time, like high school lovers? Does that mean that they don't have true love, or does that mean that it comes after years have passed? So many things that run through our minds when we are doubting, so many little issues we drag out of the jar we have been storing them in as soon as we start to question it.

It's hard when you meet someone, who falls irrevocably in love with you within minutes, and you are left wondering. Should I give this a try? I mean you think they are lovely, and they make you smile but does that mean you don't love them? No butterflies, and doubts within days? Well speaking from a massive commitmaphobe, a slightest doubt can make you run for the hills. So today I would like to tell you all a story, one that is true and one you may have heard before, but here goes.

I fell in love with a boy the first day I met him. He made me smile, and laugh and as a loud girl, I turned shy. I wanted to impress him yet somehow I knew he didn't need it, I wanted to make him happy yet I knew he was already. After meeting him, I saw him everyday afterwards, and the time I spent away from him was painful. I always thought that it was in fairy tales that this happened, that the princess gets sweeped off her feet by the prince the second he kisses her lips. Well, I was right...

True love though it felt, it ended. Crashing my world around me, stopping my world from spinning and my heart from beating. I felt like life was over, but with help from those around me I got through it; and though I have not spoken to him since that day I often sit and think of him, about what he is doing and whether he ever thinks of those moments we spent together.

Since the last day of our relationship love hasn't hit me once, not once. Some small part of me doubts I will ever fall in love quite as strongly again, as no one compared. Though the thing is. I have met so many people, and amazing friends that my heart slowly fixed itself with my friends love, not his. Gradually the pain left me, but the fear of being hurt hasn't. So now that every time an amazing guy gets close to me I run for the hills, I start to doubt if we could work, whether we'll grow to hate each other and more.

It would seem that this horrible habit of mine has brushed off onto my best friend, who recently dipped her toe in the dating scene, and as soon as she caught a bite, she ran. Crying in my arms she told me of her doubts, her fears, all of the things that this boy wasn't in comparison to the guy she has dreamt of all of these years. She called herself silly, that she shouldn't be so picky, that she shouldn't hope for her prince charming. I mean, look at what happened to me!

I genuinely cracked that night, my mind wandered off and made me think. Why shouldn't we all wait out for that guy? That one that has no doubts, the one that is so perfect for us we want to cry? That we don't doubt it for a second, that we are confident enough to be ourselves completely and trust that they will catch you when we fall? I want my prince charming, don't you?

My prince charming, turned out to be the wrong path, but hey! There are thousands! With each decision you make, a new path is created. A new prince charming is introduced to your world and one more chance to fall in love, so why not take it? If you don't like them then don't date them but if you think they could be the one? Why not jump in? Why not let yourself fall in love?

Living in fear will get you one place. No where. Sometimes it is better to live without fear than with it. So this is my advice to you my gorgeous best friend, and to all of you out there. Let yourself find your prince charming, he is out there. Just never doubt yourself when you take an ulterior path because at the end of the day, if he is your prince charming he will storm through the wilderness to find the path you took and take you to a golden one.

So grab toto, and your bright red heels and find that yellow brick road without fear, because he is waiting there, and he has all the time in the world.

Happy Readings

Chann

Fifty shades? Pfft! How's about something more realistic....Now pass me the Ben and Jerrys!

Hey there my fabulous readers, i'm very sorry I haven't posted in a little while. You know how it is with a new job, new flat and new area. Drives me mad I swear! Although I do have something entertaining to talk to you about today. Real life sex books.

Oh yes, i'm not on about the classic fifty shades, or those long nights women pull out the Mills & Boon book from under the mattress, i'm on about the rant me and my best friend shared the other night. We were discussing how popular sex books are these days, now that society are throwing off the prudish shackles and embracing their "special" parts. We spoke about how much money I could make if I went from writing romantic comedies and fantasy books to write about naughty deeds with handsome rich newcomers.

Though no matter how much money I would make I cannot imagine ever writing them, I mean I couldn't take them seriously! Don't get me wrong I have wrote many a saucy scene but seriously? The flawlessly gorgeous girl, who doesn't make an effort, eats what she wants and still wakes up perfect that nobody wants? That just so happens to meet the single wealthy guy who takes pity on the flawless virgin and makes her his muse? Hell no. It just doesn't happen! I want to hear about the chubby girl with dodgy hair and confidence issues that meets the wealthy guy! I want to hear about how their eyes met across McDonald's and they threw their Big Macs out of the window and pushed the McFlurrys off the table before making sweet sticky love. 

But of course not! No one wants to hear about the chubby girl, no one wants to read about how the girl has to get ready for at least an hour to look semi decent, but why? Clearly it is more realistic! What girl seriously wakes up flawless? Hair perfectly straight but not even brushed? She eats "Loads" yet does not gain a pound? It just doesn't happen. Women these days come in all shapes and sizes, different hair, different skin, different personalities! Why should we only read about the stupidly lucky ones?

And the guy? Same story! Gorgeous, flawless, rich, kinky, smart, interesting, talented, powerful...Everything a girl wants! Though really? What are the chances? Guys these days are just like women, hardly flawless! Running a highly powerful business? More like sat on the sofa in smelly socks watching the football! Surprising her with a gorgeous meal he has made from scratch, bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine? More like shouting from the bed to order some Chinese, but from the cheap place, they always give you plastic forks so we don't have to wash up. Romantic huh?

Though apparently this isn't saucy enough! Though these books are supposed to empower women, give them hope and aspirations, they seem to just make you feel like crap! Why can't I be flawless with no effort and marry a handsome billionaire? Why do I have to look acceptable and get the losers? 

So to combat this issue, me and Vicky wrote a short real life sex book! It starts off in a university party where 'Daniel' meets 'Tory', a girl with serious hair issues, dodgy foundation marks, she walks into doors that say pull, she spills drink down her front and stubbs her toe. Yes! Normal annoying things that happen to you everyday! Well it's fair to say it gets heated between them two and she pulls out some Ben and Jerry's to pour on him and lick off but Daniel goes mental! Which sparks a rant about how that is a waste of such gorgeous ice cream! I mean cookie dough? Mmmm! It's just a little giggle we shared but it made us think. What would we rather have in the book? The ability to dream but know we will never reach it? Or the ability to dream and it actually be possible?

Personally I would love to be wined and dined, though obviously it will never happen. I have had enough boyfriends yet never one bunch of flowers or birthday/Christmas/valentines present, not even a meal out. I guess that I have just come to accept that, that will never happen. Though as much as I love that? I think there can be nothing more romantic than cuddling on the sofa with some popcorn watching a film! So I guess that fifty shades gives us that chance to experience the romance, the spontaneity that can be thoroughly lacking in normal mundane life. 

So you guys! Which do you think it should be? Unreachable romance? Or settling happiness? To be honest? I'm quite happy with either as long as it's a good read but if there are any future erotic book writers out there starting their next book, how about not forgetting us none perfect girls? We are clearly twice as fun! 

If any of you are curious about the rest of mine and Vicky's short real life sex book, and fancy a giggle then drop me an email and i'll send it to you! 

Happy Readings! 

Chann 

jacqui.brough94@googlemail.com

The deranged recent events of my ex.

Well my fabulous readers, like many of you, I have an ex. This ex at the time was the love of my life, he was everything I needed, wanted and loved, and he was all mine. I never wanted anyone else and due to his obsessive traits, I left all of my friends and ignored my family, which meant I had no one else. (Other than my amazing best friend Vicky, who never left my side). However great this seemed to me, I was trapped in an abusive relationship, and due to my love goggles I never saw it, and if I did? I forgave him. I won't get into the details, but it sucked. Majorly. Don't they all? Well he ended it, when I needed him most. Oh the control he had... My world melted around me. I couldn't breathe and felt so lost.

Awful right? Well, in my eyes it was the most amazing thing that could of happened to me. I escaped, and now I am myself again, I have friends, I have a job and my own place. I'm on the top of the world. I go weeks without him crossing my mind, and when he does I just laugh at how lucky I am to have left. Though it would seem, as soon as it has been a few weeks without his puny face crossing my mind he pops up. He can't contact me as I changed everything, and blocked him from every site I could. He doesn't know where I am, what i'm doing or who i'm with. However, he does have my gay best friend's number (Who by the way is the most amazing guy I have met, I mean him and his fella practically pee sparkles they are so fabulous) who he contacts whenever he feels like it about such pathetic things it makes us cry of laughter.

The first thing he popped up with was that apparently I owed him £20. He told my gay best friend that it was for a pair of shoes, which by the way he bought me as a gift. Well, my GBF obviously called me up and asked. Living in supported housing I had not a penny to my name to silence his pestering with, and it really stressed me out. I didn't know what I would do and as it was just after the break up I couldn't cope with the thought of him. It stressed me out no end, but my fabulous GBF calmly paid my ex the money and told me to think nothing more of it. Thankfully it silenced him, and we prayed that it would be the last time that he re-appeared.

Our prayers weren't answered. About a month later he popped back up with another request. The day I had walked out, I was wearing his hat. Oh yes. He wanted his hat back. This thing was made of a bit of netting, and you could pick them up for about £5 from the local factory shop, but of course this was bang out of order for him and he demanded his hat back. Of course I was gutted as that hat looked damn amazing on me, but to silence his demands I sent it through the post. Of course it didn't get there did it? He banged on for so long about the fact that his hat never made it through to him, and accused me of lying and not sending it all. My support worker stuck the postage on for me for goodness sake! I wasn't paying for it to get to him! My GBF once more silenced him, and told him that I had sent it.

In the mean time of all of this, he was going around my home town and talking rubbish about me. Thankfully I was set up elsewhere by then, but I was having people ask me such awful questions of events that had apparently happened. Coolly I brushed them off and came to the conclusion that if they don't believe me? Fuck em! My true allies would stick by me. Of course he moved on quickly, and he had a new girlfriend on his arm by the end of the month while I was still nervous of letting myself get close to someone again. That has happily passed now, but of course all of the information got back to me. I am genuinely happy for him, everyone deserves someone to make them happy and I wish them well. Though of course I had to check whether I could kick her arse before I said that to the informers (and I can).

Well a job, a flat and some dates later I have been living life to the full. Being me and socializing. Meeting new people and having that option of whether to stay or walk. It's exhilarating. I just love going to a new place where no one knows me and introducing myself as a completely different persona. Try it. It's so interesting to see how people change around you. Walking into a bar as a cool successful Rachel Star, a journalist with high standards, in comparison to walking in as Lucy Jones, a successful cheerleader with daddy issues. I just love it.

So sitting in front of my laptop I had a cheeky google of my blog, and typed in "itsachannthing". You can imagine my face as a big picture of him appeared on Images. Don't ask me why, but it just does. I'm trying to get rid of  it, but for any of you that google before I manage it's disposal, yes he is wearing the infamous hat. I sighed, and returned to my blog. That's when I got a call from my amazing GBF. The first words that escaped his mouth were "Jacqui, is there something you want to tell me?". My mind searched for something to answer with but to no avail. He then let me know of the most funniest occurrence so far. He had called him up, and  told my GBF that I was pregnant. With his child. Like seriously? Who is that insane? Well of course I burst into a fit of giggles and so did my GBF. It was ridiculous. I asked how my dimwitted ex had come to that conclusion and I was told that he had received a Cow and Gate leaflet addressed to me. A leaflet...Seriously. On further thought through my laughter, I remembered that we had applied together online on Cow and Gate so he could have a free cow teddy. So HE could have one. Bless his cotton socks. He seriously thought I was pregnant, and in his blind panic he decided to tell everyone he had ever met that he had knocked his ex up. So now my name is under so much slander in that town i'm afraid it won't be able to take the weight. Of both the lies and my imaginary pregnancy stomach. Though I couldn't care less! I like to sit and smile at the thought of everyone thinking what happened to innocent country girl from Ashley? That someone might sit there and tell their friend that they heard of this girl... Well it makes me laugh.

The reason why I have told you all this? Well for one it's entertaining for me but mainly it's this. If you have broke up with someone on bad terms, the best thing for you both is a clean break. I don't care who's fault it was that you split or what happened, there is no point dragging each other down when you aren't together anymore. Luckily my GBF doesn't mind too much that he is in the middle but of course he would prefer not to be, but imagine if you put a close friend in the middle who didn't have such a high tolerance? They would snap. If they owe you money? Forget it. If they have something of yours that you won't die from not having? Leave it. If you receive a leaflet and fear she may be pregnant? Well...Don't be an idiot. A clean break is the best thing, it only makes things harder when there isn't one. Oh, and if you are stuck with an ex who won't leave you be? Well, just know. You will come out of the other side of it ten times better, and who knows? Maybe some entertaining things to laugh about later like me. You start to realize that although they made out that they were a million times better than you, they are the ones who can't let it go, and lets face it. How sad is that? It seems stressful at the beginning, but once your life is where you want it to be, you'll be so happy that it won't matter! Contrary to how you will feel, life does not end when you break up. It just opens the door to a bigger one.

So ex's? Drop that phone and get on with your life; and those dealing with their ex's? Choose a fake persona and get out of there! Live life, and forget the troubles that one person brings. It truly isn't worth stressing over! At least I have a new persona to add to my list. Dianne, the girl pregnant with her erratic ex's baby. Hmm I don't think this will be as fun as the others but who knows? I could just carry off being a yummy mummy!

Happy Readings!

Chann

P.s. Don't forget to email me or comment any responses, problems or ideas you have!
jacqui.brough94@googlemail.com

I have been busy...I swear!

Well my fabulous readers, it is that time again. Blogging time. This week i'm going to fill you in on my on goings, what with rudely ignoring my blog for so long. Oh I missed you too! I will also end with a quick advice reply to an email I received earlier this week.

Well life has been rushed and crazy lately. As some of you might know I lived in supported housing for 3 months due to my mother being ill, and I was quite happily going about my day to day life there. I loved the people I lived with, and I honestly didn't want to leave. A "dole dosser" for 5 months I was avidly searching for a job and being trapped in the unemployed pit for so long, well let's say it was dragging me down. I was also searching for a flat of my own but I had a reluctance to leave.

Then one day I got a call back from a job interview, and I made my way to the company. It was for an administration apprenticeship and I had no hope. I sat and blagged my way through it, in front of my two interviewers. The big bosses. I have always been very loquacious and found it easy chatting to them. Apparently I was the first call back of the day and they would call me at the end of the afternoon and let me know my fate. During the interview the boss asked me an odd question, "What turns you on?". I literally choked on my water when he asked and my head almost made me reply "...Domination?" but instead I squeaked out "Excuse me?" through the water that I was wiping casually off the table. Honestly! What a question to ask! Apparently he meant interests...is sex not an answer? I jest, but seriously. Who asks it like that?

Well at the end of the interview, the big boss sat and rubbed his chin and made an ominous "hmm" noise. He then stood up, shook my hand, and said "You've got the job. Start tomorrow!" and started to leave. You could have drove a lorry into the gaping hole that was my gobsmacked mouth. I couldn't believe it, and my first sentence as an employee probably wasn't the best "F*** me sideways with a crooked broomstick, are you joking?". It's a good job that he has a sense of humor... The other big boss looked horrified, "You haven't even interviewed the others yet!" She yelped, clearly not impressed with my language. "I don't care, I want her... Go get 'em girl" He happily exclaimed, winked at me and then left.

I mean seriously...When does that happen?! I literally moon walked out of the room and called everyone, anyone and screamed down the phone at them all.

The next day I woke up, after a deserved celebratory lie in, and stumbled into the lounge to complete my religious facebook checking (Which I swear used to rule my life), to find my support worker standing there smiling, holding a number and an address. I had been offered a viewing of a property.

So off I went to the property viewing and fell in love. It is in a quiet village, lot's of country walks, and little village shops. It reminded me of home, and the flat was huge. Lots of potential and just waiting for me to move in. I accepted it that day. Since then my life has been filled with, work in the day and then trying to furnish my flat at night. It was crazy but it has finally started to sort itself out. My flat now has furniture and is waiting for a lick of paint, which I have bullied my friend into helping me with this weekend. I have settled well into my job although I seem to have been given the grunt work. Lot's of database updating, and system checking, but hey! It's a good job I like IT isn't it?

Living in this quiet village I started to doubt the exsistance of anyone from the younger generation until I was having a few drinks with my friends and I heard laughter. I looked out of my window and saw two lads having a fag on the road opposite, well trying, they couldn't find a lighter. I then drunkenly decided to go down and help them out. That's when I made a good friend in "Rhino". We also met his mate "Cheese" and he creeped my best friend out so much she ran off back into my flat, but not too bad for a drunken night.

I am happily settled now, still lots to do but I have adapted well to my surroundings and it's nice just stepping out of my door and going for a walk in the country just like I used to at home. I'm such a country girl at heart. Put me on a farm and i'll show you how to do it, put me on a mountain and i'll abseil like a pro, but put me in a city? Well, you better give me an endless credit card because I'm a shopper. Confessions of a shopaholic was written about me I swear, although I have not made the venture into plastic fantastic cash, because I would rather stay out of debt. Although staring into the shop windows of designer clothing...Well let's just say i'm majorly tempted.

Well I hope this has proven how busy I have been lately and I hope you forgive me! I will try and blog twice as much for a little while just to make up for it!

Don't forget to email me your problems and blog ideas! I love reading through them all! jacqui.brough94@googlemail.com

Happy readings!

Chann

Oh and in reply to "Sharia" (Her cover name), your problem is easily fixed. She emailed me with the problem of that she really likes a lad, but neither of them are ready for a relationship. Oh and they also both want to "hook up" as it were. Sooo what to do? Well I bet everyone is screaming at their computer now. Calm down guys she thinks this is a problem! No seriously. Well Sharia...Wait did someone just shout YOLO? ...Get off my blog. What are we all shouting at you Sharia? (Well the sane ones?) Just do it! Neither of you want a relationship, but both want some fun? Why not? What's the worst that could happen? Well you could both find out you actually want to be together, or you might find out you both don't work, which could save you a lot of time later. Just make some rules about what you are, and see how it goes! You are young girl, and life is too short to miss out. Live it!

Don't forget me!

Well my beautiful readers, this is an apology! I'm really sorry for the lack of posts so much has happened! Long story short I got a new flat and a new job in a matter of two days! It was mental, but now I am settled down and all moved in (Other than the eighty bags I really cannot be bothered to do) I shall start blogging again asap!

I have so many things to tell you all! Thanks for sticking by!

In the mean time, why don't you guys email  me? I love hearing ideas from you all, and you are all where I get my inspiration from! Got any problems? Gone through some thing mad and wonderful? Need some advice or if you just want to share a rant, drop me an email!

jacqui.brough94@googlemail.com

Hope to hear from you soon!

Happy Readings!

Chann
Recent homeowner, business apprentice and happy blogger!

Clingy boys! Pah! Prepare for a rant!

Okay Okay, side bar everyone. All of you soppy, emotional men. The ones who constantly check up on the girl who they like, the ones who make dramas over nothing, the ones who are clearly single for a reason, come close...and let me slap it out of you! I mean seriously, if I have to deal with another stalkerish, dramatic boy i'm going to rip my hair out. Yes this post is another trademark rant (Yet again with no paragraphs due to my rubbish computer). Recently I have had to deal with so many soppy, emotional boys that it's driving me insane. Men, you were born with balls! Why do you constantly forget you have them? Here are a few examples of what I have had to put up with recently. The first boy. Lets call him "Groucho". Well Groucho and I got very close, and decided to become friends with benefits. Let's be honest, we all do it at some point. Well a little while after, as always feelings get involved. He started to like me more and more, and I started to look at him as more of a project. He was down in the dumps, and needed help. He needed someone to drag him from the hole in which he had become accustomed to, but it seemed the more I tried to help him, the more he took it as love. So recently, as I lay in bed I recieved a text message with the usual beckon call from him of - "Come for a hug Jacqui". Well like usual he asked me at the wrong time, and I was in the middle of a film. I said no, i'll give you one later. To which he usually replies with "You better", but this time, he didn't. He said "Fine, well don't bloody bother asking me ever again". I sat there staring at my phone in confusion. What the hell was going on? He was my fudge buddy! He wasn't meant to come out with that! Well he didn't reply to any of my texts after that, and has admittedly avoided me. I have heard him crying in his room, and he has told a few people of our relationships demise. What relationship? So sitting there, I turned to my friend for advice. The second, of the soppy trio. Let's call him "Sparkles". Well I have known Sparkles for years, since back in my college days. Back then I had a massive crush on him, he was tall dark and mysterious. He didn't want a relationship, and he pushed me back "for my own good" every time I made a move, which of course back in the day only made me want him more. He has been a close friend of mine for a long time, and for years there was heat between us. Recently though, this boy opened up. Big time. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to break the years of not being with anyone to be in a relationship with me, he calls and texts none stop and constantly wants to spend time with me. I personally think it's because I lost a huge amount of weight, and actually have a brain on my shoulders now. I outsmart him, and am actually rejecting him. Not the childish girl I used to be. Though now he has revealed all of this, the heat has evaporated and i'm actually annoyed by his presence. I mean what happened? He was the wise, smart friend who I constantly went to advice with, the one who used to laugh at being a in a relationship, and now he's talking about marriage? Hell no! I mean this boy has never even had sex with me, and he is like this. I hate to imagine what he would be like if we did! Now I can't shake him, he is like a bad smell. He asked if we could come up with a deal. No sex, no kissing, no hugging anyone else, until I came up with a decision. I'll repeat myself, Hell no! This boy knows the answer, and yet is holding onto some hope that i'd still stay faithful to someone I want as a friend? Ach! Now his funny rants don't entertain me, they annoy me. His hugs aren't as a friends that comfort you, they are as a crushes that make me uncomfortable. I genuinley miss having this guy as a friend, but that's broken, for now at least. Now the third. A person you have all heard loads about. If you smart enough to make a link, then bravo. Let's call him "Fields". Well fields, and I have been close friends for a while, but after some issues where he was banished to a friendzone, he has become clingy. To the point of pure annoyance. When we don't speak for a day, he's messaging my friends to see if i'm okay. Look, i'll say what me and my best friend agree. Friends don't have to speak everyday to be friends. As long as they are there when you need them. This lad however believes you MUST talk everyday, unless you are killed, kidnapped or tortured. My friends got sick of him which was causing tension between me and them, which sent me over the edge. I am not, and have never been with this boy, yet he was like this? It pushed it too far for me, which is currently causing a barney. The point I am trying to make is, lads! I understand that you have feelings, that sometimes emotions rule over judgement, trust me I know, but restraining orders were made for a reason! If you start a fling with a girl, that is for all purpose fun, don't then turn into a hormonal wife demanding more without even discussing it. If you like a girl, let her know without making her wish she had never opened her mouth years ago. If you can't get over your friend zone, or even if you like a girl to the point of worrying over her where abouts, don't go causing arguments with her friends, pestering them for her schedule. They don't care, and neither does she. I honest to god miss the days where you could have fun with a guy, you could go out drinking and dancing. Laughing all night, without having the repurcussions afterwards. I miss the days you could be on the same page as the person you liked, so you didn't feel the need to, let's call it what it is, STALK eachother! Take a girl out for a date sure! Just make it fun, not like an anniversary meeting of the few days you have known eachother (whether it feels like you have known eachother for years or not!). Remember, if the woman isn't being soppy and emotional, then why are you? Do not get me wrong, if you love someone tell them, if you have feelings then show them, just don't force the girl in the corner and surround her by it until she crumples. I recently had a date with a lad, who took me out for a few drinks. We had so much fun, and laughed all night. It ended with a great kiss and we both agreed that there would be a second. We started to meet up whenever he was in the area, and would chat. It was going well, until recently. The reason I agreed to the first date was that I made a bargain with him 3months earlier. Get off the drugs, and I would go on ONE date with him. He was a bad boy and was literally ruining his life with them. Facing prison sentences, banned from the town, but he took it in. Three months later he had sobered up completely, and rang me up. I was in shock, he looked amazing and healthy. Of course I happily agreed to it, and the sober him was amazing. I found I could have an intellectual converstaion with him, which is thoroughly lacking in most people these days. Though the other day, due to family circumstance, in his emotional stress he reached for the drugs and fell back into the hole he dragged himself out of. Instead of telling me, he cowarded out of it. He ignored me, and decided to avoid me. This is the thing lads. While you are crying to the person that you just met that you want 5 children with them, you are automatically trying to please them. So when something bad actually happens, you are faced with two decisions. Be honest and hurt them. Or avoid and lie. I know which one every girl would rather have. Arguments can be finished, and are healthy. Lying isn't! So men! All of you, get your hand and put them down your boxers. Feel those things? They are called balls! Don't forget you have them, and man the hell up! No one wants an emotional shadow, whether you are male or female! So remember my golden rule! Let them know your feelings by all means, but if your actions can be put on a restraining order? You should probably back off! Oh, and if you are avoiding someone because you have done something you shouldn't? Be a man and tell them! We are more forgiving than you would think! - Chann

Anti Love Letter

Oh the joys, my enter key has stopped working again. Don't you just love it when life notices the one thing that annoys you the most and uses it against you? So yes. That's right. No paragraphs. Instead I will be doing random lines... Sorry. _________Well as you can tell by the title, the anti love letter has become something rather significant in my life recently. Which ...you know. Sucks. How else can I put it? You know the thrill of recieving a text, an email, a facebook message (seriously, what happened to pen and paper?) off the person you love the most? How your heart beats fast and your stomach flips? Well imagine opening the message and instead of opening it and seeing lovely notes of emotion, you see words of the friend zone, the we can still be friends? Yeah. It sucks. Now of course I always feel bad for the person opening it and feeling their heart being renched out, but seriously. Do you know how hard it is to write them? Trying to think of the nicest way to cut some poor person's heart out of their chest? It's so difficult, especially when you are writing it to someone you genuinley care for, and think of as an amazing friend. Well it turns out, tonight I had to write one, and it was crap. It was so very crap. You know for a blogger, sending a message like this should be easy right? Well, no. It's not. So I thought, to make up for my rubbish message, I would do what I do best and blog my anti love letter to the world, in hope that he forgives me. __________ A little while ago, whilst I was living with my friend, I was dared to join a dating site after taking the piss out of him numerous times for his account. I mean seriously, the girls he was convincing himself were pretty? Don't even get me started, let's just say I spent many a night crippled in laughter at his "matches". Well I took it as a blogging oppurtunity and decided to write a post about whether dating sites were truly as crap as I thought they were. The piece was never actually written because of one guy. Let's call him Dyson. Don't get me wrong I still think dating sites are crap, but how am I supposed to write a piece about them when I had made an awesome friend on there? Me and Dyson chatted for quite a while, and he became a solid reader of my blog, which is why I am hoping he will see this. Fingers crossed. Well after talking for a long time, I met up with him. We went for a meal, and went to bowling. He was an utter gentleman and payed for it all. We laughed all night and had an amazing time. _______ After that night, we continued to meet up and have a giggle doing whatever we could think of whether that be cinema trips, treasure hunting, going to the seaside and laughing at funny names of boats. We became close as hell, and I looked forward to seeing him every week. My best friend. Look, all of you lads out there wincing at the thought of the friend zone, shut up! I guess what i'm trying to tell you guys is that every girl deserves at least one decent guy in her life and he is mine. He may not be the one for me, but he is the most perfect best friend I could ask for. ____On paper he sounded the perfect guy for me, but then one day while I sat there giggling at the little paper flag I rescued from the burger I first ate when I met him it hit me. He is so perfect, he really deserves someone who can appreciate that properly. Not messed up litle me. A few days after that I met up with a friend and the worst, yet the best thing happened. I let my walls down. Yes, I know I sound like a right bitch. This amazing guy has waited around for such a long time only for me to keep my walls up. Then I meet a friend and they fell to the ground like the clothes on a street walker. It was unprovoked, and unexpected and shocked me to my core, but instead of talking to Dyson about it. Instead of just being honest. I was quiet. To the point that I ignored him for a little while. I was scared of losing him, my amazing friend. Pure selfishness led me to keep the information to myself and I constantly searched my mind for a good enough excuse but. Lying is not me. I couldn't do it, and after 4 days of silence I buckled. I sent him that absolutely rubbish facebook message and told him.____ We had a conversation later that night, and of course Dyson was an absolute gentleman and he swore to be my friend but I feel my apologies aren't enough. So here goes. Dyson, you have been a really amazing friend of mine through some of my toughest times and stood by me, you have laughed with me in the good times and cried in the saddest, and I could never replace you. I know i've hurt you and trust me I don't feel great about myself. Allowing you to wait and then refusing; but you are an a amazing person and I couldn't ask for a better friend than you. I know you hoped for more, and hey! At one point I thought maybe I could see it too, but let's be honest. The ranting, loud, messed up blogger, with the gentleman? That never happens. Although to be quite honest I can see myself chasing you down the road with my walking stick while you make a quick exit with you zimmerframe in years to come! I just hope you'll give me a chance to show you I may not be the best crush, but I can be a great friend, and when we are old in wheelchairs and you throw my spare teeth out of the window and pretend you don't know where they are? I'll forgive you...Just for this._____ So guys! All the guys in the "Friend Zone", I never understood truly what it was like to stick you all in there, and I know some of you see it like us saying your puppy is dead...but you can still play with the dead body! But it's not. What's so wrong with being friends these days? Let's be honest, friends can last forever. ______So Dyson, and my lovely readers. I hope you read my anti love letter and forgive me. This post may not have been a letter full of roses and heart shaped chocolates, but it doesn't mean any less. My anti Love Letter. For my best friend. _______Chann________ On a more sacrier note, there is spider the size of my palm in my room and I hope to god he forgives me quick because I am not entering my room until it's gone!