Hello there my fabulous readers, it's time, yet again, for another post. This time it's about my friend (Let's call her felicity), well she lives with a group of friends in the town in which I live. She has been there for a few months, and lived happily with them all, she even got on with all of her housemates friends.
A bunch of stoners, they were always getting up to stuff in their rooms, but Felicity had always left them to do it. Well, she had told me about of one of their friends that she could never quite figure out, (Let's call him Fred). Everytime she had seen him he had said no more than one word, and had given her dirty looks. She always found it funny, but could never grasp why he was doing it.
After about a month and a half of meeting Fred every time he knocked for her room mate, there was a small party, which I attended. We all had a few drinks, and had a massive chat. Including Fred and Felicity. Since that night they had spoken every time they saw eachother, and had become more and more flirtacious. Yeah I know, what the hell right? Well, apparently all it took was that one night of conversation, to make Felicity grow feelings for this boy. A crush, you could call it. Yes. I had the same reaction. A crush at 19? I mean I get crushes on fictional characters in books (But who doesn't love Peeta from the hunger games?) but crushes don't exsist these days!
Well, a few nights ago I found myself in her garden having a few drinks with her yet again. We were having such a good night, sitting in the sun, a few cans of whatever we could afford, and when the world turned hazy we looked up and noticed that her room mate had a guest over. Fred. The moments that followed were a hazy blurr of me trying to stop my friend from going up there, and baring in mind that my conversation skills were slurred and my movements were delayed I didn't do too bad. That was until she fooled my dehydrated brain. "I'm gonna go get another can from the fridge".
It took me around 5 minutes to realise that we had all the cans on the table outside, not in the fridge and that she had fooled me. Looking up, I could see her standing in her room mates room. All I could think was God that girl is persistant...Where is my beer....I wander if I could balance that brush on my nose? I could not, but my god I tried.
Since that night she has turned to jelly every time he has entered a room, and she can't help herself. I find it quite bemusing but it made me think. Could it work? I mean he is her stoner room mate's friend, who until recently, hadn't said anything to her. She, was a previously strong minded, sober girl, who unitl the other day, didn't really know his name.
I mean in the past, when has that ever worked. Couples work on...well let's face it... tolerance! The tolerance to put up with the other's flaws, and enjoy enough things about them to make you want to stay. All famous couples had tolerance. Brad and Angelina. He put up with her insistant need for children, and her shovel face, whilst enjoying her skin tight clothing. Kermit and Miss Piggy. He put up with her constant weight gain, and stubborness. Whilst enjoying her cooking. Romeo and Juliet. He put up with her crappy family, and their impending doom. Whilst enjoying the odd kiss behind the curtains. Need I say more?
So will the bad boy druggy and the strong minded good girl ever be happy? Well, the answer is no. Not because there is no tolerance there, but because she is reduced to jelly everytime she sees him; but people! Don't think that you are too different, or he is too cute, or they are too annoying. Think to yourself. Can you put up with the crappy side to their personality to get to the good part?
Ahh true love. It's not all flowers and chocolates. It's all about putting up with their little habits that make you want to stab them in the eye with a fork. Although remember, the eyes can be decieving. That cute guy that makes your stomach flip, could be a mass murderer from Kent. Although if you can put up with his killing instincts, then why not?
Happy Readings!
Chann
Sunday 28 July 2013
Thursday 18 July 2013
Wall breaking. Not as fun as it sounds
Hey there fabulous readers! Today's post is about something I have come across recently. A bit of an odd subject but hey! We share everything right? What was that? A rash? ...Ew no. Okay maybe we shouldn't share EVERYTHING...You had to push it didn't you?
Well recently, I seemed to have stumbled into an odd position. My life is fitting perfectly together, i'm in search of a job, i'm hunting down a flat which should have me moving out in a few months, I have lovely dependable friends and a crush that is going well. It may not seem that much of an achievement but it is for me. I have had such an unstable life what with losing my family, my friends, my home and my money within a couple of months. Well the other night I stayed up until six in the morning, watching the sun rise. I was so relaxed and it made me realise how great life is at the moment. How all the pieces of the jigsaw I thought I had lost forever, have returned and seemed to fit better now than ever.
With no ties anywhere I found myself looking into work over seas and in places like the lake district. Looking at flats in places I have never been, and even doing things I wouldn't of dreamed of before. Why? Because I can! It's mad, and I may not have much money, but I have will power! A previously heavy...okay majorly over weight girl i'm now down to a healthy weight and still going down. I love it, and yes. Being able to run to the end of the road without running out of breath is an achievement. Especially for me. My favourite pass time? The gym! Ha! I know right? Me! My self confidence, after the recent heavy beating, has survived and returned with the help of my amazing friends helping me find my feet again. I used to spend many nights in my friends room, stressing out and crying. Everything seemed to be getting me down, every small issue felt like it was weighing me down bit by bit. Now? Well let's just say I went up there the other night, and for once it wasn't me stressing out.
Though my life sounds great, well to me, I think it may have given me issues. Commitment issues. Ouch, I know. Look ladies, it's not just guys that have them I swear! I have had to get used to not relying on anyone, with the thought that if anyone enters my life, that they could leave just easily. So now, I have a lovely guy that genuinley likes me, he is funny, and charming, yet I find myself panicking at his advances rather than accepting them. The thought of having someone always there doesn't relax me, it puts me on edge. Every touch, every smile, every flirting comment bounces off me. I have had to learn the very hard way not to trust anyone but yourself, and having someone tell me they will always be there for me? Well it's an empty promise. After losing my own family (Whether it be through untimely death or the abandonment that follows), my head lets me think everyone will leave me. My wall is always raised, and any loving moments I have are quickly closed off. There are about 2 people out there that know the real me, that I let see behind the wall. It's not pretty, but they are the people that help me rebuild it when it is knocked over once more by someone new.
Now i'm left wandering. Can I actually let anyone in again? The smallest statement scares me, the smallest sign of someone commiting makes me run for the hills. Don't get me wrong, I feel awful doing it. I end up hurting those that try, that may genuinley care, but I just can't. I feel like anyone new that enters my life, or even my heart, could risk this life I have built brick by brick on my own. I can't have anyone knock down my castle anymore, it was almost fatal last time.
They say, whoever "They" are, the first step is acceptance and acknowledgement. Well this is me, acknowledging it, to you fabulous people. I hope you don't mind. I guess my advice to anyone out there, who I hope haven't been through what I have or worse, that have their family and friends close, is to keep them there. You may get sick of your parents nagging at you, but what would you do if they suddenly weren't there? Trust me, I know. It's rough as hell. You may get sick of your friends letting you down, and the little arguemtns you have, but when you are faced with living on the streets and you have no friend there that will take care of you? You'll appreciate them then.
To all of you poor souls, who are as broken as me? To any poor soul without family, without friends, without the love of your life, i'm with you. It's a rough ride in life if you have to fight for everything you own; but we will get there. A wise guy told me once that life is like a rollercoaster. It wouldn't be fun without the ups and downs. And hey! Us guys on the bottom? The only way is up!
As for me, i'm sure my mind will eventually let me to at least create a doorway in my wall for someone special, but until then? I guess i'm just hoping that people will stick by and help me build it.
Happy Readings
Chann
Well recently, I seemed to have stumbled into an odd position. My life is fitting perfectly together, i'm in search of a job, i'm hunting down a flat which should have me moving out in a few months, I have lovely dependable friends and a crush that is going well. It may not seem that much of an achievement but it is for me. I have had such an unstable life what with losing my family, my friends, my home and my money within a couple of months. Well the other night I stayed up until six in the morning, watching the sun rise. I was so relaxed and it made me realise how great life is at the moment. How all the pieces of the jigsaw I thought I had lost forever, have returned and seemed to fit better now than ever.
With no ties anywhere I found myself looking into work over seas and in places like the lake district. Looking at flats in places I have never been, and even doing things I wouldn't of dreamed of before. Why? Because I can! It's mad, and I may not have much money, but I have will power! A previously heavy...okay majorly over weight girl i'm now down to a healthy weight and still going down. I love it, and yes. Being able to run to the end of the road without running out of breath is an achievement. Especially for me. My favourite pass time? The gym! Ha! I know right? Me! My self confidence, after the recent heavy beating, has survived and returned with the help of my amazing friends helping me find my feet again. I used to spend many nights in my friends room, stressing out and crying. Everything seemed to be getting me down, every small issue felt like it was weighing me down bit by bit. Now? Well let's just say I went up there the other night, and for once it wasn't me stressing out.
Though my life sounds great, well to me, I think it may have given me issues. Commitment issues. Ouch, I know. Look ladies, it's not just guys that have them I swear! I have had to get used to not relying on anyone, with the thought that if anyone enters my life, that they could leave just easily. So now, I have a lovely guy that genuinley likes me, he is funny, and charming, yet I find myself panicking at his advances rather than accepting them. The thought of having someone always there doesn't relax me, it puts me on edge. Every touch, every smile, every flirting comment bounces off me. I have had to learn the very hard way not to trust anyone but yourself, and having someone tell me they will always be there for me? Well it's an empty promise. After losing my own family (Whether it be through untimely death or the abandonment that follows), my head lets me think everyone will leave me. My wall is always raised, and any loving moments I have are quickly closed off. There are about 2 people out there that know the real me, that I let see behind the wall. It's not pretty, but they are the people that help me rebuild it when it is knocked over once more by someone new.
Now i'm left wandering. Can I actually let anyone in again? The smallest statement scares me, the smallest sign of someone commiting makes me run for the hills. Don't get me wrong, I feel awful doing it. I end up hurting those that try, that may genuinley care, but I just can't. I feel like anyone new that enters my life, or even my heart, could risk this life I have built brick by brick on my own. I can't have anyone knock down my castle anymore, it was almost fatal last time.
They say, whoever "They" are, the first step is acceptance and acknowledgement. Well this is me, acknowledging it, to you fabulous people. I hope you don't mind. I guess my advice to anyone out there, who I hope haven't been through what I have or worse, that have their family and friends close, is to keep them there. You may get sick of your parents nagging at you, but what would you do if they suddenly weren't there? Trust me, I know. It's rough as hell. You may get sick of your friends letting you down, and the little arguemtns you have, but when you are faced with living on the streets and you have no friend there that will take care of you? You'll appreciate them then.
To all of you poor souls, who are as broken as me? To any poor soul without family, without friends, without the love of your life, i'm with you. It's a rough ride in life if you have to fight for everything you own; but we will get there. A wise guy told me once that life is like a rollercoaster. It wouldn't be fun without the ups and downs. And hey! Us guys on the bottom? The only way is up!
As for me, i'm sure my mind will eventually let me to at least create a doorway in my wall for someone special, but until then? I guess i'm just hoping that people will stick by and help me build it.
Happy Readings
Chann
Saturday 13 July 2013
RE: Women. My arguement. Men!
If anyone would like to see who I am arguing with here go to http://chemicalschildhoodandcocktails.blogspot.co.uk, although women? Be prepared to rage! Well where to start, this sir, I am addressing directly to you, Spencer. (And to any guys out there who believe the same) Men, you may believe that women lie an awful lot, but guess what? Sometimes it's not just black or white. Men are controlled by their penis, and the urge to eat. Women are ruled by their emotions, oh yes all of the muddled up emotions that riddle their way through women's brains everyday. I will now argue against your three points of lying that women are involved in. Number 1. The bullshit compliment. Oh yes ladies we know this one well, and we often hear it. Everytime you ask your fella an opinion on what you are wearing, whether the hours you spent getting ready were worth it. Only to have your guy not actually look at you before saying, "you look lovely dear" and then resume watching the football. Only for you to get out of the door and for him to turn around and say "Couldn't you have worn something a bit longer?". At least when women compliment eachother, (fake or not) it makes you feel good, they actually look at you and take in what you are wearing. Not picturing your brown boob tube dress with the stitching up the side as a sausage roll, and then wandering off to the fridge. Number 2. The getting you off the hook thing. Ha! Ladies please stop laughing, guys really think they don't use this! I'm just not ready to be tied down RIGHT NOW. I'm just not ready for a relationship AT THE MOMENT. Ah these sweet lines that have let many a guy walk his way into some girls pants. They are lies, as the few end words can mean the difference between a no, or a not right now. Those few words will give a woman hope that there is a chance, as believe it or not. We are stubborn creatures. I like to imagine cave women beating their husbands to death with a rock until they turn into the prince charming they made out they were in the first place. When women are just out of a break up, or if they are going through rough times, we will use the lines 'My heads in a bad place' 'I don't know what I want' 'I need time to think', yet men seem to think that these are a way of saying no. No? Most of the time women hope that a guy will stick around long enough until they are ready, until their minds are in the right place, but of course they won't. Plenty more vagina in the metaphorical sea that is the dating scene. Number 3. Oh god, this is the one that winded me up the most. I do belive I have ranted about this myself in a previous post. The infamous prince charming. I know I know, I too have said that he doesn't exsist BUT what is stopping us wishing for a charming, sophisticated guy, who will respect us and make us laugh? Nothing! It's better that than aiming for a scumbag chav with a bad attitude and that so called "SWAG" that I hate so god damn much. As you get more wise, you realise that most likely the guy of your dreams is the chubby, funny, socially awkward guy that you never thought of going near, but until then, us women aren't lying about what we want in a guy. We do dream of the Prince Charming, or in my case a Mr Darcy. Though we never said that what we looked for in a guy is neccesarily what we end up falling for! Guys make unrealistic expectations about what women should be like. For example, this is actually a quote from my ex. "Hunnie, it's not you, it's just when I dreamt of what kind of girl I wanted, I imagined a supermodel. Let's be honest that's not you. I wanted a woman who would cook me food all day, someone who wouldn't mind me being in the strip clubs. Oh and one who isn't all clingy. Let's be honest. You over reacted about me flirting with your best mate. You need to realise I have needs. My dream woman wouldn't have a problem with that...". Oh trust me, that little speech cost him a kick in the balls. With my highest heels with a platform wedge. Fellas? If you don't get that, it basically means OUCH. Let's just say, neither women or men are innocent, and lets be honest. We always antagonize the opposite sex. So my theory is, instead of finding someone that "fits into your life" maybe the person you are meant to be with, is the one that challenges those lies.Although I have spent this post ranting, I genuinley have enjoyed reading the males perspective, and it's great to see it from their side. So go take a look, and maybe argue against it yourselves my fabulous readers! If you have any thoughts or opinions, don't be afraid to email me jacqui.brough94@googlemail.com, or tweet me @wackyjacky1994 Happy readings! Chann x
Don't throw your toys out the pram!
Friends. We all have them, quite a few of them. Or if you are me, about three; But how do you make time for them all. Again this isn't me, I could probably count mine on one hand. I only like genuine people, and anyone false usually clashes with me. That and the fact that most people I meet are as dense as wood, and only see four seconds in front of their nose...right sorry rant over. Well my friend (Let's call her Lucinda...) has had a recent problem that has left her feeling guilty. Well first i'll tell you the situation. Basically she has had a friend for many years, she has known her for so long that they know eachother inside out, but her friend (Let's call her Mary...) has recently sparked up an argument that Lucinda isn't spending enough time with her, and she is spending way too much time with her new friend (Ermmm...Ethel. You never hear the name Ethel any more do you?). So Lucinda was sat ranting to me, that Mary is ditching her as a friend, which is making Lucinda feel guilty. Right! Well in my opinion Lucinda isn't in the wrong, she has two friends and is spending equal time with the both, but Mary is so used to not sharing her attention that she is throwing her toys out of the pram and crying at her mummy. I mean seriously girl! Ethel didn't take your lollipop she just took a lick. It just made me think, how many girls have sat on their beds feeling guilty that they aren't giving their original friends enough attention. Though, let me clarify, Ethel lives miles away, 2 hours exactly, and her friend Mary lives two minutes away. So they should see eachother all of the time right? Wrong! Mary threw her toys out of the pram, about something that she could fix! Am I wrong? What was that? Oh thanks you're funny too! But enough of this flirting! Back to the issue. Ladies, if you have many friends, someone is going to feel left out; but to throw a little jealousy fit? It's madness! Friends are friends for a reason! Just because they don't see you everyday, doesn't mean they don't love you any less! I have a friend who travelled for a whole year without communication with me, yet I knew that she was still my friend at the end of it. Oh and if she isn't after all that time? She isn't a decent friend! So, my advice to you Mary, and to any of you ladies out there going through the same thing, stick your thumb in your mouth, hold your teddy close and wait! Your friend, isn't ditching you, it's not like a cheating boyfriend, she is a friend; and Lucinda? Turn off your baby monitor and go back to her when she's sound asleep and content. Besides if you sit listening to the baby monitor long enough, it will drive you mad. P.s. Again I am sorry about my lack of paragraphs, my damn computer! P.P.S. Take a look at http://chemicalschildhoodandcocktails.blogspot.co.uk he is witty and entertaining, and has recently done a reply post to mine! Besides a males opinion can't be that bad eh? Yes I know i'm single, so I don't hear the other half nagging, but hey! Nagging leads to improvement right? ...No? Okay i'll shush now. Happy readings! Chann
Friday 12 July 2013
Damn enter key!
Well my fabulous readers, it is time for another post! Although thanks to my dodgy computer, it will no longer let me press the enter key, so yes that means no paragraphs! It annoys me just as much as you, but until I fix it I hope you'll forgive me! ... So today ladies,this one is aimed at you! Today, yet again I have been faced with another heartbroken girl, another girl crying in her pillow about being broken hearted by a guy. Apparently this time this guy of hers, lets call him Bob (Yes I know it's a stereotypical name, but hey! Who doesn't like the name bob) had been chatting to some girl over facebook, where most problems happen, and he had arranged to meet up with this hussy of a girl behind her back. Well my friend, (Let's call her Jane...Yes I know) was of course devastated! As the good friend, I of course gave her advice as any friend would, but this is not an advice post on break ups today, Oh no. It was bound to happen! This is a post on knowing what is good for you! Seriously girls! If he has cheated on all of his exes before you, and has a track record for it, Oh, and told you that he was not ready to settle down; What makes you think you can make him change? The reason Bob doesn't feel guilty, is because he warned her before. She knew how he felt, and how he was going to act, yet she pushed for it anyway. I mean seriously, what is it with you girls? Yes Yes I know, I have told you all my thing for bad guys, but there truly is a limit. I have a friend, who I love to pieces, I mean he is just a male version of me. Here's the catch. He is a bad guy, he sleeps around, he insults everyone, he doesn't want to be tied down, and wants different things to me. He is a bad boy, with a bad attitude. Hot right? I know, and when I was younger I would of ran to him, but yes ladies. It is a heart break waiting to happen. We spend over half of our lives complaining about always being hurt, always being cheated on, always being treated like crap, but how do we get there? We decide to risk it. We decide to play that wild card. When really, we should be listening to our mothers, and playing it safe! So after her tears had dried and she had seen the light at the end of the tunnel I told her this. If you want to risk being hurt, if you want to take that chance in the hope he will change do it. I have and probably will in future, but if not? If you want a relationship where you can tell your friends you have never argued, or that you are always happy, play it safe! I love a guy with intelligence, someone who can challenge me, somone who is witty and charming; but I know, everyone has their flaws! Taking a risk with someones flaws is different, but dating a tiger expecting him to be a kitten? It's not going to happen! Now Jane is off again, looking to the future, and told me you know what? There is some guy that she is interested in, he does like the same colour as her...eurgh I know. So I asked her to tell me about him, and suprise suprise. He is another wild card! Some girls never learn! Of course I advised her against it, maybe to give herself some time, to not rush into anything, but you know how it is. "But he likes yellow! Do you know how hard it is to find a decent guy who likes yellow?! God you just don't get me!" Though of course when it all goes bad once more, I shall be the shoulder she comes to, to cry on. All i'm saying is just think ladies, a bad boy is all fun and games, but at the end of the day if you want your boyfriend to purr then date a kitten, but don't date a tiger and not expect him to scratch.
Wednesday 10 July 2013
Sharing is caring!
Hey my fabulous readers! It's that time once again where I share who I believe is another up and coming blogger! Blogs are supposed to be the random and crazy ramblings of a mad person, and this lives up to expectations. He is a newbie to this, not long on the scene but take a look! His witty and mad insight to the world of guys is unexpected. Well you have had the girls side from me, and let's be honest it's nice to hear the guys view! Take a look! chemicalschildhoodandcocktails.blogspot.co.uk Don't let the name discourage you! It's quite a good read! I should be updating my blog a tad later so come back and take a look! Happy readings! Don't forget to tweet me! @wackyjacky1994
Tuesday 9 July 2013
Oh you are my best friend and you are seeing my ex? Ha! I don't think so...
So, my beautiful readers, this one is for all of the best friends out there! I'm sure you have heard this many times before, but ex's are off limits to friends, unless the circumstances are unique and you have the honest permission of the friend. I mean come on, it's like the rules of feminism!
Well, the reason I am ranting about this today, is because a friend came to me devastated today. She told me that her most recent ex, who shattered her heart into pieces, and then proceeded to stamp on them, was going on a date with her best friend. Her friend had assured her that she would never go near him like that, but she had asked if she was allowed to hang out with him at least? Of course my friend had said no, as it would hurt her too much but her best friend had been overly insistant. The next day, she had recieved a phone call from a close friend informing her that her ex had been bragging about the fact that he was going on a date with her friend.
Right! Let me get this straight! Hanging out with an ex of your friend (depending on the fact of if he has hurt her) is a massive no no! You just do not go there! It will hurt your friend severly, she will be sat thinking about whether you are going to come back hating her, whether you will have listened to the rubbish that spouts from his mouth, or even worse! So to go on a date? ha! Do you want to lose your friend? No? Then cancel the god damn thing and apologise!
Not only has your friend suffered through an attrocious break up recently, but now she has to deal with her best friend not taking her side! It'll be one more dagger, slicing through her heart, cutting off her windpipe, and leaving her feeling more alone than ever.
Though your friend may be moving on, going on a few dates, and having the courage to go out on the town again, it is still never the right time to drop that bomb shell on her. Also, put yourself in her shoes. Maybe an ex that will always have a place in your heart, someone, who you expressed to your friend, you didn't want seeing your friend, due to him talking slander to your mates in the area straight after the break up. You wouldn't want to be there would you? Then stop what you are doing! It's wrong and you know it!
Don't get me wrong, I understand that you may have been friends with him, while your friend was dating him, but that doesn't mean you guys will ever be as close as you and your best friend. If he hurt her, doesn't that mean he is capable of hurting you? Remember that!
And guys? If you are on the recieving end of your ex's best friend's attention? Reject it! It may seem like a great idea, or that they are you friend, but no matter what happened, they are going to need a best friend to go to. Someone who IS biased towards them, and will take their side. If not? They will be on their own, and upset. Be the bigger person, and give them that.
Oh! If it is your best friend that's doing it to you? Well. They clearly weren't a best friend at all.
Happy readings!
Chann
Well, the reason I am ranting about this today, is because a friend came to me devastated today. She told me that her most recent ex, who shattered her heart into pieces, and then proceeded to stamp on them, was going on a date with her best friend. Her friend had assured her that she would never go near him like that, but she had asked if she was allowed to hang out with him at least? Of course my friend had said no, as it would hurt her too much but her best friend had been overly insistant. The next day, she had recieved a phone call from a close friend informing her that her ex had been bragging about the fact that he was going on a date with her friend.
Right! Let me get this straight! Hanging out with an ex of your friend (depending on the fact of if he has hurt her) is a massive no no! You just do not go there! It will hurt your friend severly, she will be sat thinking about whether you are going to come back hating her, whether you will have listened to the rubbish that spouts from his mouth, or even worse! So to go on a date? ha! Do you want to lose your friend? No? Then cancel the god damn thing and apologise!
Not only has your friend suffered through an attrocious break up recently, but now she has to deal with her best friend not taking her side! It'll be one more dagger, slicing through her heart, cutting off her windpipe, and leaving her feeling more alone than ever.
Though your friend may be moving on, going on a few dates, and having the courage to go out on the town again, it is still never the right time to drop that bomb shell on her. Also, put yourself in her shoes. Maybe an ex that will always have a place in your heart, someone, who you expressed to your friend, you didn't want seeing your friend, due to him talking slander to your mates in the area straight after the break up. You wouldn't want to be there would you? Then stop what you are doing! It's wrong and you know it!
Don't get me wrong, I understand that you may have been friends with him, while your friend was dating him, but that doesn't mean you guys will ever be as close as you and your best friend. If he hurt her, doesn't that mean he is capable of hurting you? Remember that!
And guys? If you are on the recieving end of your ex's best friend's attention? Reject it! It may seem like a great idea, or that they are you friend, but no matter what happened, they are going to need a best friend to go to. Someone who IS biased towards them, and will take their side. If not? They will be on their own, and upset. Be the bigger person, and give them that.
Oh! If it is your best friend that's doing it to you? Well. They clearly weren't a best friend at all.
Happy readings!
Chann
Wednesday 3 July 2013
Revenge with an ex? Oh dear...
So! There comes a day where, after living your life with no attention from the opposite sex what so ever, someone pops up and admits that they have feelings for you. To your shock you return them, and it seems amazing that this is happening. You can't see him for a little while because of both of you lacking the funding but that's okay! You think it is worth the wait.
After getting out of a big relationship recently you are very cautious and you aren't sure how quick you can take things, but then! Someone else pops up. Someone you shouldn't be even talking to, someone you who has screwed you over previously, an ex. Okay okay I can hear you screaming at me but there are reasons! The guy you broke out of a relationship with hated his guts, and to get your own petty revenge your head lets you talk to him, even flirt with him, maybe even meet him?
Well right there, at that very moment you agree to it, you should stop. I have said it many times and I will continue to, ex'es are and ex for a reason! Keep it that way! But of course you agree to meeting, your head filled with thoughts of revenge, knowing how much it would piss off your recent ex to do it. Maybe you don't even like them that much?
Then there is that original person, that charming, sweet guy that popped up before and you had actual feelings for. You keep talking to him like normal, like you are not meeting up with an ex just for revenge purposes.
So you are stuck, in a dodgy situation and you are perfectly aware of how you got there. It's a tricky one, through being messed about by your ex you are in a place where you want to hurt them as much as you can, in any petty way you can, yet you know it is bad for you, and yet the origonal guy is so perfect.
This is the right time for you to rally your best friend to your place, and ask for advice. I can guarantee that they will give you the same advice as me. As good as it feels, and as happy as it makes you to jab at the heart of your ex and get revenge, you know it's not good for you. He is an ex for a reason, and lets be honest? Do you even like him? I didn't think so. We all do crazy things to fight back at those who broke our hearts, yet putting ourselves in a situation where we wont even be happy? Its a big no no.
You should know who is good for you, and a charming guy who treats you right, even though you have to wait, is worth it. You have to think about your long term happiness, and you are not going to be happy with some dodgy ex, and let's be honest? Anyone you go to, to reek revenge, is not gonna be the love of your life.
I am all for being friends with your ex, or even getting back together with them if you parted on good terms, if you still love them more than you can bare, or even if you need closure, but getting back with an ex you dislike for revenge? Hell to the no. You can do so much better!
I guess what I am trying to say is, as sweet as revenge tastes, you have to realise where your happiness will be. It's not with that ex who you dislike, it's either on your own or with someone who will treat you right! Besides if you want revenge, could that mean you are not completely over your ex? But I guess that opens up another issue!
So stay strong, and be confident! Life will be on track soon enough!
Chann
After getting out of a big relationship recently you are very cautious and you aren't sure how quick you can take things, but then! Someone else pops up. Someone you shouldn't be even talking to, someone you who has screwed you over previously, an ex. Okay okay I can hear you screaming at me but there are reasons! The guy you broke out of a relationship with hated his guts, and to get your own petty revenge your head lets you talk to him, even flirt with him, maybe even meet him?
Well right there, at that very moment you agree to it, you should stop. I have said it many times and I will continue to, ex'es are and ex for a reason! Keep it that way! But of course you agree to meeting, your head filled with thoughts of revenge, knowing how much it would piss off your recent ex to do it. Maybe you don't even like them that much?
Then there is that original person, that charming, sweet guy that popped up before and you had actual feelings for. You keep talking to him like normal, like you are not meeting up with an ex just for revenge purposes.
So you are stuck, in a dodgy situation and you are perfectly aware of how you got there. It's a tricky one, through being messed about by your ex you are in a place where you want to hurt them as much as you can, in any petty way you can, yet you know it is bad for you, and yet the origonal guy is so perfect.
This is the right time for you to rally your best friend to your place, and ask for advice. I can guarantee that they will give you the same advice as me. As good as it feels, and as happy as it makes you to jab at the heart of your ex and get revenge, you know it's not good for you. He is an ex for a reason, and lets be honest? Do you even like him? I didn't think so. We all do crazy things to fight back at those who broke our hearts, yet putting ourselves in a situation where we wont even be happy? Its a big no no.
You should know who is good for you, and a charming guy who treats you right, even though you have to wait, is worth it. You have to think about your long term happiness, and you are not going to be happy with some dodgy ex, and let's be honest? Anyone you go to, to reek revenge, is not gonna be the love of your life.
I am all for being friends with your ex, or even getting back together with them if you parted on good terms, if you still love them more than you can bare, or even if you need closure, but getting back with an ex you dislike for revenge? Hell to the no. You can do so much better!
I guess what I am trying to say is, as sweet as revenge tastes, you have to realise where your happiness will be. It's not with that ex who you dislike, it's either on your own or with someone who will treat you right! Besides if you want revenge, could that mean you are not completely over your ex? But I guess that opens up another issue!
So stay strong, and be confident! Life will be on track soon enough!
Chann
Tuesday 2 July 2013
Harmless banter? Ha! Nothing is harmless love, give it a rest
Right guys! All you males out there, this is one for you! Although girls i'm sure you will agree! When you have a girlfriend, and she is the love of your life, why do you insist on cheating? You love her enough to stay with her, yet you insist on texting and messaging other girls in a provocative way. In my eyes cheating isn't just doing something physical, if you have to hide something then you are already there. It's wrong! You would hate it if it happened to you, yet you insist What she doesn't know won't hurt her! Well trust me it does.
I guess you will be wanting to know where this has come from? Well! An old high school chum popped up on Facebook and started chatting to me. He seemed lovely, and we continued to speak every day. The conversation started to become more cheeky than normal, and in the spirit of things I spoke back in the same manner. Then the day came that we swapped numbers, and he said something that made my blood boil. Only text me at certain times so my girlfriend doesn't get jealous... What? Are you fricking serious? You have a girlfriend yet you are texting me in a dodgy manner? Well he then proceeded to tell me how much he loved his girlfriend and that she meant the world to him, but that when he hadn't seen her in a while his eye started to wander and he was after someone to have some harmless fun with.
Yes I know, it is never harmless fun when you have a girlfriend, and it is an utter betrayal to even consider doing something. Though it made me think, if you are as happy as you say why are you going else where? I mean fellas if your girlfriend was telling you that she loved you yet she was off shagging some other guy you would be furious and feel utterly betrayed. So why is it okay for guys to do it?
One answer, it's not! When you have a partner it is not okay under any circumstances to go off with anyone else, chatting with another girl is fine, but flirting with one is not. There is no such thing as "harmless banter" as that i'm afraid, is another word for flirting. Just recently I have been chatting with many flirtacious guys, and all of them seem to be taken, to each one I have told to stop, and that if I was their girlfriend i'd be furious yet they never listen.
So here is a word to the wise, if you are happy with someone do not ruin everything with so called harmless fun, it's ridiculous. If you are so happy you wouldn't be doing it! If you are a girl that has come across one of them, just think. They might seem charming and gorgeous but if they are willing to cheat on their girlfriend with you, they would do the same to you.
Chann
As a last note, soon I will be setting up a vlogging channel, where I will be turning some of my advice blogs into a video format. Hope to see you there! Though don't worry the blog will carry on!
I guess you will be wanting to know where this has come from? Well! An old high school chum popped up on Facebook and started chatting to me. He seemed lovely, and we continued to speak every day. The conversation started to become more cheeky than normal, and in the spirit of things I spoke back in the same manner. Then the day came that we swapped numbers, and he said something that made my blood boil. Only text me at certain times so my girlfriend doesn't get jealous... What? Are you fricking serious? You have a girlfriend yet you are texting me in a dodgy manner? Well he then proceeded to tell me how much he loved his girlfriend and that she meant the world to him, but that when he hadn't seen her in a while his eye started to wander and he was after someone to have some harmless fun with.
Yes I know, it is never harmless fun when you have a girlfriend, and it is an utter betrayal to even consider doing something. Though it made me think, if you are as happy as you say why are you going else where? I mean fellas if your girlfriend was telling you that she loved you yet she was off shagging some other guy you would be furious and feel utterly betrayed. So why is it okay for guys to do it?
One answer, it's not! When you have a partner it is not okay under any circumstances to go off with anyone else, chatting with another girl is fine, but flirting with one is not. There is no such thing as "harmless banter" as that i'm afraid, is another word for flirting. Just recently I have been chatting with many flirtacious guys, and all of them seem to be taken, to each one I have told to stop, and that if I was their girlfriend i'd be furious yet they never listen.
So here is a word to the wise, if you are happy with someone do not ruin everything with so called harmless fun, it's ridiculous. If you are so happy you wouldn't be doing it! If you are a girl that has come across one of them, just think. They might seem charming and gorgeous but if they are willing to cheat on their girlfriend with you, they would do the same to you.
Chann
As a last note, soon I will be setting up a vlogging channel, where I will be turning some of my advice blogs into a video format. Hope to see you there! Though don't worry the blog will carry on!
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