Clingy boys! Pah! Prepare for a rant!

Okay Okay, side bar everyone. All of you soppy, emotional men. The ones who constantly check up on the girl who they like, the ones who make dramas over nothing, the ones who are clearly single for a reason, come close...and let me slap it out of you! I mean seriously, if I have to deal with another stalkerish, dramatic boy i'm going to rip my hair out. Yes this post is another trademark rant (Yet again with no paragraphs due to my rubbish computer). Recently I have had to deal with so many soppy, emotional boys that it's driving me insane. Men, you were born with balls! Why do you constantly forget you have them? Here are a few examples of what I have had to put up with recently. The first boy. Lets call him "Groucho". Well Groucho and I got very close, and decided to become friends with benefits. Let's be honest, we all do it at some point. Well a little while after, as always feelings get involved. He started to like me more and more, and I started to look at him as more of a project. He was down in the dumps, and needed help. He needed someone to drag him from the hole in which he had become accustomed to, but it seemed the more I tried to help him, the more he took it as love. So recently, as I lay in bed I recieved a text message with the usual beckon call from him of - "Come for a hug Jacqui". Well like usual he asked me at the wrong time, and I was in the middle of a film. I said no, i'll give you one later. To which he usually replies with "You better", but this time, he didn't. He said "Fine, well don't bloody bother asking me ever again". I sat there staring at my phone in confusion. What the hell was going on? He was my fudge buddy! He wasn't meant to come out with that! Well he didn't reply to any of my texts after that, and has admittedly avoided me. I have heard him crying in his room, and he has told a few people of our relationships demise. What relationship? So sitting there, I turned to my friend for advice. The second, of the soppy trio. Let's call him "Sparkles". Well I have known Sparkles for years, since back in my college days. Back then I had a massive crush on him, he was tall dark and mysterious. He didn't want a relationship, and he pushed me back "for my own good" every time I made a move, which of course back in the day only made me want him more. He has been a close friend of mine for a long time, and for years there was heat between us. Recently though, this boy opened up. Big time. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to break the years of not being with anyone to be in a relationship with me, he calls and texts none stop and constantly wants to spend time with me. I personally think it's because I lost a huge amount of weight, and actually have a brain on my shoulders now. I outsmart him, and am actually rejecting him. Not the childish girl I used to be. Though now he has revealed all of this, the heat has evaporated and i'm actually annoyed by his presence. I mean what happened? He was the wise, smart friend who I constantly went to advice with, the one who used to laugh at being a in a relationship, and now he's talking about marriage? Hell no! I mean this boy has never even had sex with me, and he is like this. I hate to imagine what he would be like if we did! Now I can't shake him, he is like a bad smell. He asked if we could come up with a deal. No sex, no kissing, no hugging anyone else, until I came up with a decision. I'll repeat myself, Hell no! This boy knows the answer, and yet is holding onto some hope that i'd still stay faithful to someone I want as a friend? Ach! Now his funny rants don't entertain me, they annoy me. His hugs aren't as a friends that comfort you, they are as a crushes that make me uncomfortable. I genuinley miss having this guy as a friend, but that's broken, for now at least. Now the third. A person you have all heard loads about. If you smart enough to make a link, then bravo. Let's call him "Fields". Well fields, and I have been close friends for a while, but after some issues where he was banished to a friendzone, he has become clingy. To the point of pure annoyance. When we don't speak for a day, he's messaging my friends to see if i'm okay. Look, i'll say what me and my best friend agree. Friends don't have to speak everyday to be friends. As long as they are there when you need them. This lad however believes you MUST talk everyday, unless you are killed, kidnapped or tortured. My friends got sick of him which was causing tension between me and them, which sent me over the edge. I am not, and have never been with this boy, yet he was like this? It pushed it too far for me, which is currently causing a barney. The point I am trying to make is, lads! I understand that you have feelings, that sometimes emotions rule over judgement, trust me I know, but restraining orders were made for a reason! If you start a fling with a girl, that is for all purpose fun, don't then turn into a hormonal wife demanding more without even discussing it. If you like a girl, let her know without making her wish she had never opened her mouth years ago. If you can't get over your friend zone, or even if you like a girl to the point of worrying over her where abouts, don't go causing arguments with her friends, pestering them for her schedule. They don't care, and neither does she. I honest to god miss the days where you could have fun with a guy, you could go out drinking and dancing. Laughing all night, without having the repurcussions afterwards. I miss the days you could be on the same page as the person you liked, so you didn't feel the need to, let's call it what it is, STALK eachother! Take a girl out for a date sure! Just make it fun, not like an anniversary meeting of the few days you have known eachother (whether it feels like you have known eachother for years or not!). Remember, if the woman isn't being soppy and emotional, then why are you? Do not get me wrong, if you love someone tell them, if you have feelings then show them, just don't force the girl in the corner and surround her by it until she crumples. I recently had a date with a lad, who took me out for a few drinks. We had so much fun, and laughed all night. It ended with a great kiss and we both agreed that there would be a second. We started to meet up whenever he was in the area, and would chat. It was going well, until recently. The reason I agreed to the first date was that I made a bargain with him 3months earlier. Get off the drugs, and I would go on ONE date with him. He was a bad boy and was literally ruining his life with them. Facing prison sentences, banned from the town, but he took it in. Three months later he had sobered up completely, and rang me up. I was in shock, he looked amazing and healthy. Of course I happily agreed to it, and the sober him was amazing. I found I could have an intellectual converstaion with him, which is thoroughly lacking in most people these days. Though the other day, due to family circumstance, in his emotional stress he reached for the drugs and fell back into the hole he dragged himself out of. Instead of telling me, he cowarded out of it. He ignored me, and decided to avoid me. This is the thing lads. While you are crying to the person that you just met that you want 5 children with them, you are automatically trying to please them. So when something bad actually happens, you are faced with two decisions. Be honest and hurt them. Or avoid and lie. I know which one every girl would rather have. Arguments can be finished, and are healthy. Lying isn't! So men! All of you, get your hand and put them down your boxers. Feel those things? They are called balls! Don't forget you have them, and man the hell up! No one wants an emotional shadow, whether you are male or female! So remember my golden rule! Let them know your feelings by all means, but if your actions can be put on a restraining order? You should probably back off! Oh, and if you are avoiding someone because you have done something you shouldn't? Be a man and tell them! We are more forgiving than you would think! - Chann

Anti Love Letter

Oh the joys, my enter key has stopped working again. Don't you just love it when life notices the one thing that annoys you the most and uses it against you? So yes. That's right. No paragraphs. Instead I will be doing random lines... Sorry. _________Well as you can tell by the title, the anti love letter has become something rather significant in my life recently. Which ...you know. Sucks. How else can I put it? You know the thrill of recieving a text, an email, a facebook message (seriously, what happened to pen and paper?) off the person you love the most? How your heart beats fast and your stomach flips? Well imagine opening the message and instead of opening it and seeing lovely notes of emotion, you see words of the friend zone, the we can still be friends? Yeah. It sucks. Now of course I always feel bad for the person opening it and feeling their heart being renched out, but seriously. Do you know how hard it is to write them? Trying to think of the nicest way to cut some poor person's heart out of their chest? It's so difficult, especially when you are writing it to someone you genuinley care for, and think of as an amazing friend. Well it turns out, tonight I had to write one, and it was crap. It was so very crap. You know for a blogger, sending a message like this should be easy right? Well, no. It's not. So I thought, to make up for my rubbish message, I would do what I do best and blog my anti love letter to the world, in hope that he forgives me. __________ A little while ago, whilst I was living with my friend, I was dared to join a dating site after taking the piss out of him numerous times for his account. I mean seriously, the girls he was convincing himself were pretty? Don't even get me started, let's just say I spent many a night crippled in laughter at his "matches". Well I took it as a blogging oppurtunity and decided to write a post about whether dating sites were truly as crap as I thought they were. The piece was never actually written because of one guy. Let's call him Dyson. Don't get me wrong I still think dating sites are crap, but how am I supposed to write a piece about them when I had made an awesome friend on there? Me and Dyson chatted for quite a while, and he became a solid reader of my blog, which is why I am hoping he will see this. Fingers crossed. Well after talking for a long time, I met up with him. We went for a meal, and went to bowling. He was an utter gentleman and payed for it all. We laughed all night and had an amazing time. _______ After that night, we continued to meet up and have a giggle doing whatever we could think of whether that be cinema trips, treasure hunting, going to the seaside and laughing at funny names of boats. We became close as hell, and I looked forward to seeing him every week. My best friend. Look, all of you lads out there wincing at the thought of the friend zone, shut up! I guess what i'm trying to tell you guys is that every girl deserves at least one decent guy in her life and he is mine. He may not be the one for me, but he is the most perfect best friend I could ask for. ____On paper he sounded the perfect guy for me, but then one day while I sat there giggling at the little paper flag I rescued from the burger I first ate when I met him it hit me. He is so perfect, he really deserves someone who can appreciate that properly. Not messed up litle me. A few days after that I met up with a friend and the worst, yet the best thing happened. I let my walls down. Yes, I know I sound like a right bitch. This amazing guy has waited around for such a long time only for me to keep my walls up. Then I meet a friend and they fell to the ground like the clothes on a street walker. It was unprovoked, and unexpected and shocked me to my core, but instead of talking to Dyson about it. Instead of just being honest. I was quiet. To the point that I ignored him for a little while. I was scared of losing him, my amazing friend. Pure selfishness led me to keep the information to myself and I constantly searched my mind for a good enough excuse but. Lying is not me. I couldn't do it, and after 4 days of silence I buckled. I sent him that absolutely rubbish facebook message and told him.____ We had a conversation later that night, and of course Dyson was an absolute gentleman and he swore to be my friend but I feel my apologies aren't enough. So here goes. Dyson, you have been a really amazing friend of mine through some of my toughest times and stood by me, you have laughed with me in the good times and cried in the saddest, and I could never replace you. I know i've hurt you and trust me I don't feel great about myself. Allowing you to wait and then refusing; but you are an a amazing person and I couldn't ask for a better friend than you. I know you hoped for more, and hey! At one point I thought maybe I could see it too, but let's be honest. The ranting, loud, messed up blogger, with the gentleman? That never happens. Although to be quite honest I can see myself chasing you down the road with my walking stick while you make a quick exit with you zimmerframe in years to come! I just hope you'll give me a chance to show you I may not be the best crush, but I can be a great friend, and when we are old in wheelchairs and you throw my spare teeth out of the window and pretend you don't know where they are? I'll forgive you...Just for this._____ So guys! All the guys in the "Friend Zone", I never understood truly what it was like to stick you all in there, and I know some of you see it like us saying your puppy is dead...but you can still play with the dead body! But it's not. What's so wrong with being friends these days? Let's be honest, friends can last forever. ______So Dyson, and my lovely readers. I hope you read my anti love letter and forgive me. This post may not have been a letter full of roses and heart shaped chocolates, but it doesn't mean any less. My anti Love Letter. For my best friend. _______Chann________ On a more sacrier note, there is spider the size of my palm in my room and I hope to god he forgives me quick because I am not entering my room until it's gone!