Commitment? ...*runs away*

Commitment. Scary word huh? So many people run for the hills when they hear it, grabbing as many one night stands on their way as they can. At some point in your life you, if you haven't already, will run away from that oh so scary word, panicking that you are too young, that you want to 'Live your life' or that you enjoy being single more. I'm no exception. When I left a quite serious relationship all I wanted to do was 'have fun' and date, but whenever someone wanted to make it permanent I ran. Don't get me wrong, they were lovely people but I just couldn't take the 'C' word. That phase passed eventually, and part of me realised that I wanted to settle down and find someone nice at last, but my fear of a relationship before had knocked me off the radar of any 'prince charming's in my area.

My friends often tell me how they are happy to be a 'Single pringle' and that all they want to do is party, and flirt and chat to the opposite sex, and that they enjoy the freedom. Well I have come to the conclusion that you don't have to be in a relationship to be 'tied down', and I personally think that they will become less and less relevant as time goes by. Take being single for instance. You are tied down, to the fact that no one will take you as a relationship type if you just fool around, that instead of movie nights in curled up with a spouse, you are tied to the fact that, to fit the stereo type of being single, you must go out on the town, or go on countless blind dates.

If you are more of a laid back singleton, where you devote time to 'what will be, will be', surviving off the odd new number or random adds on Facebook, then you are tied to hope. Faith that you will find someone but you don't want to go out and find them yourself. Hanging with friends instead of nights out around the town sounds great,  until those surrounding you start to find the attraction to the 'c' word and you become the third wheel. Mate nights become Couples and You nights. Not as fun huh? The longer you wait, the less hope you have, and doubt kicks in. You start asking for advice off friends and even to be set up with someone. Then removing you from the laid back singleton category and forcing you into the dating scene.

Lets be honest, it's slim pickings out there. What are the chances that you will find someone with all the qualities, give or take a few, outside your door? I mean i'm still waiting for Johnny Depp to come knocking, but i'm starting to lose hope.

Of course, you could be one of them that wants both worlds. A friend with 'benefits'. The freedom to chat and date anyone you want to, but to have that person to cuddle up to when you get back. It sounds all fine and dandy until that 'c' word creeps back in again. Feelings can only stay away for so long, and at some point you will find yourself asking what if? No one gives the 'other person' enough credit. There will always be one that feels for the other a bit more. They are the one that is always there for you, treats you as their own, trusts you with everything, only to watch you walk away with someone else. They tell you how they are looking for their someone, and you are left wandering why you weren't considered. The one that has been there the whole time? I guess when you finally get your sense back, it makes you more eager to find someone, this time, who only wants you.

Some people are single through fear of rejection, or betrayal. This I understand completely and it's what worries me when starting a new relationship. I have been cheated and lied on more times than I care to say, it leaves you devastated, doubting yourself and in pieces. Why would you put yourself through that again I hear you say. Well I asked the same question to myself, over and over, and the answer? We're human. It's human to want to be wanted, and it's human to take chances. If things go wrong then it wasn't meant to be, and it's better to give it a proper chance and be hurt, and able to find someone who appreciates you, than to be with someone who doesn't.

The longer you are single the longer you realize, it's more of a commitment being single than in a relationship. I would rather be curled up with a boyfriend, cuppa and my cat on a night in, than out in the cold trying to aimlessly socialize over loud music and drunken slur. Nights on the game console, laughing and having fun, to being crushed in a crowded pub trying to meet new people. Sure it's fun at first, but after a while it become tiresome. When you think about it? Commitment doesn't sound so bad now does it?

Me? Oh i'm still single, waiting for my prince charming to arrive. I haven't given up hope, and I don't think I ever will. For now though it's just me and my cat and that is fine by me.


Chann


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