Up up and away

Have you ever been so scared that your disaster of a life, could get worse if you don't get everything sorted, that you could be homeless, penniless and without contact with everyone? I have. Tonight is the last night of reliance on my friend to put me up and feed me.

As I have mentioned in one of my other posts my mum is in hospital, and I have been told rudely by my family that I will no longer be living with my mum, that she herself is moving out of my childhood home when she comes out to stay in a carers bungalow, and that I have got no where to live. For quite sometime my friend has helped me out by feeding and homing me, but after this putting him debt I have had to move on. 

To do so I have had to declare myself homeless officially, and ask for help everywhere I can get it. Tomorrow night I will be moved into a mysterious location, could be a flat or a hostel or anything, and that's it. I'm left to start my life all over again. Build it all from scratch and get everything sorted and to be quite honest? I'm terrified. 

I have awful nerves, and being on my own, even in my own house, creeps the hell out of me, so being moved into a complete mystery place on my own is such an ominous prospect that I don't know how i'm going to handle it.  Especially moving in with no money and no furniture. I'm not going to harp on like my life is the hardest ever, I know there are some people out there that aren't lucky to get the help that I have, (I spent hours on the office phone to get it), I know that things can always be worse but it's making me realize what really is important. 

I used to think that a raving social life, a nice wardrobe and other menial things were important and it sounds cheesy but now I know what really is. It comes to a point when you realize that all of the things you took for granted like a roof, food and water are actually the things you need the most, and you notice it most when you are faced with the prospect of no longer having them. 

Tomorrow is a big day, it's the start of something new that I am absolutely terrified of, but you know what? I've said it before, we should always do the thing that scares us the most and that is exactly what i'm going to do. I can say this for sure though, I am never going to lose perspective again, or forget those who have helped me out so much. 

Wish me luck!

Chann